queenbizz123 (queenbizz123) wrote in obsessiveminds,

"The Perfect Exhale"

"The Perfect Exhale"

Stumbling out into a fairly lit hallway
dotted with different colored doors marking every few feet

You're tired and so very exhausted
seeking out a quiet place to hang your head
and shut your eyes away from the glances
Is it possible to find such a place?

You find a door in the corner
you walk into a dimly lit room thinking you're alone
but what is THIS that you see inside
somebody barely visible, barely there
in even darker shadows than you were in just a moment ago

And then you see her almost as clearly now as it was dark
a person there, or at least you think it's a person
sighing silently
one eybrow lifted and her head tilted slightly to the right
her lips are pressed tightly in a pale line
she is audibly breathing through her nose, exhasperated

She wants to scream out loud
but her eyes slowly cast downward and her eyebrows furrow

She wishes that everything didn't have to matter so much
she wishes that she couldn't feel so much
for once, just get through a day or an hour without having anything matter
but she can't, not as long as she keeps wanting to matter to everything around her

So tired of having to have the answers to everything just right
always needing it all to be everything or nothing
black and white thinking

Or perhaps with the absence of these thoughts
there wouldn't be turmoil, therefore left to her own self
to truly realize her fears and weaknesses
such things unacceptable to her

Could it possibly mean the prospect of finally having the peace and quiet
she could be left to her own ways of dealing
the very thing she might really crave could shatter her to pieces forever

For the perfect Exhale
she would need to take in a great big inhale of life
the way it really is
and not how it is interpreted in her head
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